Well it’s most definitely a week of hard-hitting and slightly unusual posts linked to essential oils (trust me these two subjects came out of nowhere…)

I was having a flick through my Facebook timeline around lunch and up pops a video about male domestic violence.

It was made by Buffalo State Health in the USA and I definitely, think it’s worth a watch.


Their ‘1 in 4’ statistic got me thinking. What are the stats like over here in the UK?

Are we that bad, or are we worse?

Well… in 2014 there were 18,887 cases of domestic abuse in the UK and 45% of those were against men (Flatley, 2016).

Wow – 45%!

That’s a lot.

That’s definitely a big number.

And one which needs picking up on.

If you want to read the rest of the other post click the link – but remember to come back and find out how essential oils can help…

Useful Essential Oils:

To be honest – the following oils will be useful whether it’s male on female abuse, or female on male abuse but it was the video that got me started (hence the other blog post).

When we get down to the meat and bones of everything – we’re all pretty much the same.

Essential oils affect us in the same way and don’t tend to be gender specific.

It’s just about what works for you.

So here’s a selection of oils for you whether you’re currently hurting someone you love, or being hurt by someone you love.

Perpetrator of domestic abuse:

It is absolutely important that you get help to stop causing harm to those people in your household.

And one thing you can do in the meantime is to reduce the likelihood of you striking out at someone else.

While there is no research (that I could find on google scholar, PubMed or on the BPS database) which specifically talks about essential oils and alcohol it is important the role of alcohol consumptions plays on the part of domestic abuse.

Women are statistically more likely to be victims of domestic abuse when their partner had been drinking (Flatley, 2016), and male victims are statistically more likely to turn to alcohol as a result of domestic abuse (Hines & Douglass, 2012).

So what we need to do is think about why people turn to alcohol in the first place…

When I used to drink it was for these three reasons:

  1. because I really liked the taste and was enjoying myself
  2. because I felt like it was expected and then it became a habit
  3. because I had such a shit day I needed something to help me forget and take my mind off what was going on.

When we delve into number 3 – these are the emotions I used to feel (often being a crazy mix of more than one at the same time…) and alongside this is a couple of essential oils which can help you not feel that way:

  •  anger – lavender (calming), ylang ylang (relaxation) or melissa (calming)
  • defeated – cypress (grounding), white fir (energizing) or juniper berry (peaceful)
  • depressed – lemon (invigorating), frankincense (reduces irritability), or lavender (antidepressant properties)
  • fear – ylang ylang (calming), orange (calming), or sandalwood (calming)
  • overwhelmed – orange (uplifting)
  • self-pitty – orange (uplifting)
  • rejected – lavender (promotes peacefulness) or germanium (promotes a sense of hope)

Hopefully, one of these emotions will touch a nerve and ring true with you so you can start to use the oils instead of turning to the bottle.

I recommend using the oils both aromatically and/or topically.

Personally, I would diffuse a couple of oils which are uplifting and fresh (e.g., the citrus ones) because these really resonate with me and my tastes and then I use the ones I am not overly keen on (e.g., lavender or ylang ylang) topically on the souls of my feet for the added boost.

Because all oils have different constituent properties meaning there would be something in those oils I needed to help calm me down or to give me confidence which I wouldn’t get if I only diffused the ones I liked the smell of.

Victim of Domestic Abuse:

If you are suffering right now it’s important that you seek help and support from someone who can protect you and get help for the person who is abusing you.

While I have not personally been a victim of domestic abuse I am going to list a few emotions (and associated essential oils) from case studies and research articles I have read on the subject.

And I hope from the bottom of my heart that this helps you.

  • anxious – lavender (calming), orange (calming) or lemon (relaxing)
  • confidence – cedarwood (calming), or orange (uplifting)
  • defeated – cypress (grounding), white fir (energizing) or juniper berry (peaceful)
  • depressed – lemon (invigorating), frankincense (reduces irritability), or lavender (antidepressant properties)
  • fear – ylang ylang (calming), orange (uplifting), or sandalwood (calming)
  • negative – orange (uplifting), grapefruit (uplifting), or white fir (energizing)
  • overwhelmed – orange (calming)
  • traumatised – sandalwood (harmonizes)

If you haven’t nipped over to the other post you won’t have seen my really small ask for help…

There are loads of stats and research on female victims but hardly anything on male victims and I would love it if you took just 2 mins to fill in a quick survey?

You can be:

  • of any gender (just no aliens)
  • be a victim, a perpetrator, a witness, or no nothing about domestic violence
  • struggling with a mental health difficulty, or not
  • a suicide survivor, planner, or have never thought about it
  • also be of any religion, age, colour…
In summary – I really don’t mind where you come from, what you look like, or who you are
I would just like you to tick a few boxes completely anonymously.

Please be honest.

Please do not just make things up

I am doing this to get the world talking and to get the world to take some serious consideration into the worth of this subject.

It would also be great if you shared this around friends, colleagues, family members… anyone you know.
I’m going to keep the questionnaire open for two weeks and then get back to you with what I’ve found.
I need to do it quickly, I need to ‘strike while the iron’s hot’.
Your support is very much appreciated.
Click the link below to tick some boxes and to get the world listening…
It will only take 2 mins 😀
Thank you so much for your help and if you have any questions then please don’t hesitate to hit reply & I’ll get back to you asap.
Have a great weekend – Katie.


Flatley, J. (2016, February). Focus on Violent Crime and Sexual Offences data. Retrieved from Office For National Statistics: http://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2015/bulletintablesfocusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffencesyearendingmarch2015

Hines, D. A., & Douglass, E. M. (2012). Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence. Aggressive Behaviour, 31-46.


  1. It’s important to seek the advice of a professional before embarking on a new health regime.
  2. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
  3. This website is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
  4. Essential Oils are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease
  5. Not all essential oils are of the same quality and it’s important you check with your oil brand whether you can use your oils aromatically (A), topically (T) and/or internally (I).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s